There's Nothing Worse Than Hairy Legs!

We are taking a break from the 'Hot Nanny' series to talk about my mortifying doctor visit today.

I've been sick lately and as promised I went to the doctor. It was my first time visiting this office so I fill out all my new patient forms and imagine my surprise when Dr.Hottie calls my name.

Immediately I turn on the charm and try to pay attention while I am mentally kicking myself in the ass for looking like shit. How hard is it to put on a litttle blush, biatch?!

He takes me into the exam room and asks me to remove my top and put on the ugliest pink gown. Pink is my color but I don't think THAT shade of pink is anyones color!

He does the routine check up and just when I think we are done and my flirtmeter is about to hit 100% he tries to pull my pant legs up.

"Stop!!!" I scream. And not just inside my head. I didn't shave my legs!!! Cute underwear, check. Shaved pits, check. Nice bra, check. Shaved legs, *crickets*.


* These are not my legs but they are pretty close!


I end up having to explain to him that I only shave for the gyno and for sex, which is common knowledge to most of you by now.  Then I make an awkward joke about how hairy legs are my contraceptive (because let me let you in on a little secret, I tend to make jokes when I'm uncomfortable). He has a good laugh, reassures me he's seen worse, promises to forget all about it. I concede and I lose my self respect.

After I put my clothes back on, I do the wake of shame back to his desk. I asked him for a referal to another doctor because I will never be able to look him in the face. He promised to forget all about it. I promise to shave and put on make up for my next appointment.
* In the winter I like to let my leg hair grow so I can frenchbraid it and make leg warmers. :D

21 comments:

  1. I always tell myself that they have to have seen worse. In all the jobs that I've had, the people who think that they're being the freaks really have no idea as to how bad the real ones are.

    Of course, the fact that you actually explained to him about only shaving for the gyno and sex is pretty darn funny... but are there women out there that actually shave for other reasons? Especially when it's long pants season, then forget it.

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  2. Isn't that the way it always works? you feel like crud, and then the doctor is hot? UGH.

    Better luck next time?
    :)

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  3. That is SOOO ME! My husband actually said that if I wanted to be intimate I would have to shave my legs! AHAHAAHHAHA! LOVE IT!

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  4. I love that you guys don't shave your legs either! It's just so time consuming! I'd rather wash my hair!

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  5. LOL! I'm so sith you. I hate shaving my legs in the winter. DH gets very disgusted with me!

    Tanya

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  6. Lmao!! Hilarious, momma!! And my favorite part? How you called yourself biatch!!! Hahaha!!!

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  7. You have a guy doctor? And he's cute? Um, no thanks. I prefer homely female doctors myself.

    And for the record I always shave my legs because I'm terrified of being woken up by an earthquake in the middle of the night. I don't want to have to run into the street naked and hairy.

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  8. I just keep saying that I can't possibly be THE worst. I hope!

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  9. And this is why I only have female Dr's

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  10. That picture is hilarious. I am guilty of not shaving but I don't make any excuses. At all.

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  11. Are you sure you don't want to go back? When he said he's seen worse, I wouldn't doubt it for a second.

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  12. How funny, but oh so real!!!
    Nancy

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  13. oh happy sistahood sharer fest!
    nancy

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  14. I don't shave in the winter either. My husband can deal with it.

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  15. Stopping by from the SITS Saturday Sharefest! I laughed out loud after reading this post. Thank you for your humor and putting a smile on my face!

    Have a great week!

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  16. Happy Saturday Sharefest!

    I had a friend that went to a new gyno, when he walked in he was incredibly hot and she asked him to leave so she could get dressed, he asked why and she said you're too hot to be my Dr and she left!

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  17. Oh man that was funny and strangely familiar. Who wants to shave ever? The good new is that I'm sure he'll remember you with a smile!

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  18. You are HILARIOUS!!!!!! As always, I love this post! I can so feel your pain, I have had an embarrassing moment or two in gyno's office myself. Except it wasn't my legs it was my feet, I didn't realize I needed a pedi until I put feet in the stirrups( oh the horror)!

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  19. omg girl. too funny!

    Oh I've been in this boat! This is why I am now a stickler for shaving/makeuping when ever I have appointments anywhere... Including the Dentist... YOU NEVER KNOW!

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  20. This was the funniest post. It is all sooo true! Unfortunately I can relate in so many ways :o)

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