We are taking a break from the 'Hot Nanny' series to talk about my mortifying doctor visit today.
I've been sick lately and as promised I went to the doctor. It was my first time visiting this office so I fill out all my new patient forms and imagine my surprise when Dr.Hottie calls my name.
Immediately I turn on the charm and try to pay attention while I am mentally kicking myself in the ass for looking like shit. How hard is it to put on a litttle blush, biatch?!
He takes me into the exam room and asks me to remove my top and put on the ugliest pink gown. Pink is my color but I don't think THAT shade of pink is anyones color!
He does the routine check up and just when I think we are done and my flirtmeter is about to hit 100% he tries to pull my pant legs up.
"Stop!!!" I scream. And not just inside my head. I didn't shave my legs!!! Cute underwear, check. Shaved pits, check. Nice bra, check. Shaved legs, *crickets*.
* These are not my legs but they are pretty close!
I end up having to explain to him that I only shave for the gyno and for sex, which is common knowledge to most of you by now. Then I make an awkward joke about how hairy legs are my contraceptive (because let me let you in on a little secret, I tend to make jokes when I'm uncomfortable). He has a good laugh, reassures me he's seen worse, promises to forget all about it. I concede and I lose my self respect.
After I put my clothes back on, I do the wake of shame back to his desk. I asked him for a referal to another doctor because I will never be able to look him in the face. He promised to forget all about it. I promise to shave and put on make up for my next appointment.
* In the winter I like to let my leg hair grow so I can frenchbraid it and make leg warmers. :D