Why Do Others Love Their Husbands More? : Tip #1 for Improving Your Marriage

Many times I find myself wondering... Why do other women seem to love their husbands more than I love mine?

I read blogs on a daily basis and many mommy bloggers out there are going on and on about how wonderful their husbands are and how much they love them. And it makes me question our relationship.

I love my husband. And I know that he loves me. So how can we be more like that?

I've come up with a few theories that I have been putting to the test. Some of them have been working for me and I want to share them with you in hopes that they might help others that feel the same way.

Today, I am sharing with you Tip #1: Obsess about the thing you DO like.

When my husband does something that upsets me or pisses me off, I obsess about it for days... until he does something else that upsets me and then I move on to that. I complain about it to my mother and my friends (bloggy friends included) and turn into the twin of Kathleen Turner's character from The War of the Roses (I love that movie by the way).
* Warren Adler, author of The War of the Roses, commented on this post!
But when my husband does something that makes me happy, I thank him, I might mention it to my friends but that's it.

What we need to do is reverse the situation!

When your husband does something that makes you angry, I understand that you need to vent. I plot my revenge day and night for days at a time. But is that really making me feel better? NO!

So, next time your husband does something that pushes your buttons here is what you should do:
Write it down or talk to a friend and then PUT IT AWAY! Yes, I said it! And I know it's hard but PUT IT AWAY! Don't read it again, don't discuss it over and over, just put it away.

The next time your husband does something good, I want you to OBSESS about for days!!! My husband took me out to dinner on Friday (his idea!) and I have not shut up about it ever since. It may sound ridiculous but every time you think or speak about it, those feelings of satisfaction and happiness will return just like those feelings of anger and frustration return every time you think about whatever it was he did to upset you.

It is much easier to dwell on the negative but I promise that your efforts will not go unrewarded. And after a while, obsessing about the good things will become second nature to you. Look at all those women who can't stop raving about their husbands! Nobody is perfect but these women choose to OBSESS on the good not the bad.

Make sure to check in next Monday! I will be sharing with you Tip #2.

Got any tips for me? Please email me at thewannabewahm@gmail.com
I will test them out and be sure to mention you on my blog if all goes well.

17 comments:

  1. dropping from MOm bloggers... I just started following your blog. I hope you can follow mine to..

    Designs by Vhiel
    Living in Style Network

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  2. i think that is an awesome theory which sadly most women do not figure out.

    looking back, it had a lot to do with the anger and hurt from my marriage.

    i'm divorced now.

    so your tip would have been more useful five years ago.

    but i'll still be back to throw in my two cents for tip #2!

    andy:)

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  3. Your husband took you out to dinner? Seriously?

    I'm lucky if I can get mine to make me a piece of toast in the morning.

    Excellent tips, although I would probably need a GIGANTIC trunk of some sort to put all of my complaints in....

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  4. I agree, appreciation for what you have, and showing it, is really important. My husband surprised me a couple of weeks ago, out of the blue he came home with a gift card to this swanky spa for me. Just because!

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  5. It was more like he was hungry and took me along.
    But hey, a meal is a meal!

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  6. Yes, I need to be better about obsessing about the good things my husband does, but right now I'm too busy obsessing about how great your blog looks. Seriously fantastic! I'm about to put your new button on my blog. Lookin' good baby, lookin' good!

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  7. Thanks Unknown Mami!!! You like??? I have been hard at work making just right...
    I have decided that I want to design blogs!

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  8. Glad you like War of the Roses! Thanks for the mention.

    -Warren Adler
    Author of War of the Roses

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  9. Oh my God! (or "OMG!" as the youngsters say)
    Warren Adler! Are you for real?

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  10. Marriage is hard work! This is a great post...so often we try to put up a front for others and pretend it's easy, but it really is a struggle. Who knew?

    I'm following you from MBC, by the way. I'd love a follow back!
    http://thepennypinchingmama.blogspot.com/

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  11. That's a great idea, we tend to focus so much on the negative these days don't we? Stopping by from SITS to say hello!
    T.

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  12. *Popping in from SITS!
    Great Post! I'm guilty of holding a grudge at times.
    - Now following your blog :-)

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  13. Push through it, I say. Funny how my husband tends to hold onto things longer than I do. I for one am too damn busy with kids and work to obsess over any but! Great post.

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  14. This is a great idea and something I have been trying to do! Things are hard for a lot of families right now so I think this is a good reminder! I found you through Theta Mom before I got to you on that LONG list from MBC and I am glad I did. I am following!

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  15. Hey chica. I know I have been MIA, but I am back. I like this idea. I think about that often, how we are quick to complain, and then our friends and acquaintances think we have this bad relationship with a man that doesn't do anything good for us. But, in all actuality, it is easier to harp on the negative. In all aspects of our life. I will focus on this tip # 1 in my relationship as it enters this new chapter.

    PS - Love the bloggy look. It is so awesome!!!

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  16. Great advice! We (my husband and I) took a parenting class recently and the instructor suggested, that whenever you say something negative to your child, that you should say three positive things in return. I've tried to incorporate this into my everyday life - it really gets you into a more postive thinking pattern.

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  17. Unfortunately, obsessing on the negative (as opposed to the positive) is usually the way it goes. Great advice to shift this thinking. I am going to make a point to try and really obsess over his "good deeds" a bit more.

    Great post!

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